From the moment I met Mrs. Haley I could tell she was a dominant woman full of independence and strength. Honestly, she almost scared me, as well as my other classmates, because she walked and talked with so much confidence. Mrs. Haley was not one of those women who were once shy and eventually acquired confidence, but instead, she was a woman who possessed confidence throughout her entire life. I know this to be true because she was somewhat of a legend in the small town of Eatonton, Georgia, populating fewer than 7,000 people. As most people know who grow up in small towns, word travels like a wildfire. Libby Haley spent her entire life growing up in Eatonton (where she still remains today) and had a reputation of being popular, athletic, outgoing, intelligent, and quite the catch in her day. Today, Mrs. Haley, a traditional woman, is a faithful wife, loving mother and grandmother, truthful friend, and most of all, a devoted mathematics teacher. Throughout her life Libby Haley has achieved many accomplishments and has proved herself to be a strong, independent woman who, as she says, “Values many feminist qualities, but does not completely classify herself as a true feminist,” and by analyzing her experiences and traditional values (or consciousness raising as I have learned) I intend to make connections between those experiences and the second wave she grew up in.
When asked what were the first words or ideas that popped into her head when she heard the word feminism, Mrs. Haley not only answered with an obvious response such as equal pay for men and women, but also with somewhat unusual responses such as “the bra-burning of the 1960’s, the sexual revolution, and the right for women to an identity.” She stated that the images she saw on the news of the women burning their bras in protest against men’s restricted invention had stained her mind for many years to come. Due to Mrs. Haley’s mellow nature, she did not agree with the rebellious actions of the women. Likewise, she did not agree with the aspects of the sexual revolution taking place around the same time. She did not believe that women should degrade themselves to having sex with as many sexual partners as they pleased just as an act of rebellion against men’s sexually active nature. Mrs. Haley did explain that in high school there were the “bad girls” or “flower girls” as she called them who were extremely sexually active, but she decided not to follow down that path. As I began to think about her beliefs on the sexual revolution, it proved my point even further that she is an independent woman in all of her being and does not need to suffice to extravagant circumstances to prove herself or her values. In regards to identity, Mrs. Haley was adamant about the fact that she wanted her own identity. She did not want to be addressed as Mrs. Bill Haley, but instead Mrs. Libby Haley. She made it clear that she would never sign anyone’s name or answer to anyone’s name but her own. So here I can see that she does agree with the second wave of feminist thought that women should obtain their own identity. When asked if she had ever read any feminist works from the second wave of feminism, Mrs. Haley responded negatively. I found it interesting that she grew up during the second wave and had not read any feminist’s works concerning identity, but still conformed to one of the wave’s most important and influential goals.
In addition to sharing similar beliefs about sexual preference and identity, Mrs. Haley also obtains strong beliefs about several of the main fields of interest in the second wave, birth control and abortion. Although she never used birth control herself, Mrs. Haley supports the use of the contraceptive entirely. Before I could even ask whether she had read The Problem that has No Name by Betty Freidan, Mrs. Haley explained to me that she believed the development of contraceptives would have helped women back in the day who were constantly getting pregnant and having to stay home with the children. She stated that this was completely unfair to women who wanted to pursue a career or go to school. Her comment completely baffled me because she had never heard of ‘the problem that has no name’ or read anything about it, but still recognized the problem that many women faced. Maybe this was because she almost experienced ‘the problem that has no name’ herself. Even though I had known Mrs. Haley for a good amount of time, I did not know that she had to stall her college career at Middle Georgia College due to pregnancy. When she told me this I was stunned, but what I was not stunned about was the fact that she went back to college, not only to graduate but also to complete her masters in mathematics. Like I would have thought, Mrs. Libby Haley refused to let herself feel anything less that extraordinary and successful.
As for abortion, Mrs. Haley is pro-choice under the conditions that the circumstances are lawful. On this subject, she continuously made it clear over and over again that she believed it was the woman’s choice whether to have or not have an abortion. She possessed some of the same feelings as me in that “if rape occurs then abortion (as long as it is done within the first trimester) should be suggested and not disputed or looked down upon in any way.” Now, if the woman is past her first trimester and wants to pursue an abortion, Mrs. Haley believes this to be completely unlawful, even if rape occurs.
After discussing the issue and comparing and contrasting our beliefs, Mrs. Haley brought up the fact that with each of these Second Wave fields of interest came a double-bind for women. To explain, with birth control, if one takes it, she is labeled as promiscuous, and if one does not take it, then she is a prude. Invariably, if a woman thinks or even decides to get an abortion then she is a murderer, and if she decides not to get one, then she will be labeled as irresponsible. So either way, women are caught in an unfair lose-lose situation.
In order to learn more about her life and try to make some connections to her values and beliefs, I asked Mrs. Haley if she had ever experienced any wrongful encounters against her because of her gender, race, or class. The answer I received caught me off-guard as she said that she had never experienced uncomfortable encounters due to her race or class, but had experienced just one due to her gender. Due to her confidence, independence, beauty, and intelligence, I expected her to name offense after offense made against her, but only one came to mind. Mrs. Haley professed to me that in the late 1970’s or early 1980’s (she could not remember), a fellow teacher of hers, a male teacher to be exact, made unnecessary gestures every time he saw her. He would “whistle at me and sometimes even touch me in the most awkward ways, and the worst part was that he did not care who was around … My superiors could be talking with me and he would whistle acting completely ignorant of the conversation I was engaged in.” Mrs. Haley remembers this situation as being extremely uncomfortable for her, and will never forget what she called him and still calls him to this day, “A dirty old man!”
Although she does not completely identify as a feminist and is not familiar with many influential feminist authors such as Betty Freidan, Sojourner Truth, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, or Rebecca Walker, Mrs. Libby Haley is extremely knowledgeable and concerned with women’s rights. After the interview between myself and Mrs. Haley, I was hesitant about using her as the subject of my paper due to her inexperience in the feminist movement. Moreover, from the many questions I asked, only around half were answered causing me to doubt my ability to produce a good essay, but then I remembered that she was the first woman who popped into my head when I heard of the assignment. It is like you always hear; you should never second guess your first decision. As I stated earlier, Mrs. Haley was a dominant woman who obtained much confidence and independence, and those were the traits that made me view her as the perfect candidate. Although she may not have classified herself completely as a feminist, I find Mrs. Libby Haley to be the ideal woman to represent what a second wave feminist is all about. Through sharing her beliefs, traditional values, and experiences, I believe that women can move one step closer re-establishing and redefining women’s liberties.
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